What a difference it makes when we know we aren’t alone in our experience. Executive Director of PAL (Parents of Addicted Loved Ones) organization, Kim Humphrey and his wife, Michelle, recount their journey of healing through the PAL groups. Even when their sons’ addictions remained active, Kim and Michelle found out they could be healthy. They learned more about the nature of addiction and how parental love looks different when a son or daughter lives with drug dependency. Coming out of isolation and into healthy relationship strengthened them to become the parents they needed to be for their sons.

Kim and Michelle Humphrey were imperfect but committed and loving parents. Kim, a police officer, and Michelle, a stay-at-home mom, taught their kids about the dangers of drugs. They invested in them as every good parent does. They were involved in church and loved Jesus. Yet in their teen and young adult years, both of their sons became addicted to drugs. People blamed them and distanced themselves from them. They felt so alone. Only when they connected with a PAL (Parents of Addicted Loved Ones) did they begin to have hope.

When Chuck Sedgwick, my husband, began building trust with men in the body of Christ, the narrative changed. Slowly he believed that he was worthy of healthy friendships. As he did life with trustworthy brothers in Christ, he grew in confidence and relational strength. The lie of his shame diminished, and God’s truth could be known.

Growing up with a father who was absent from the home for the majority of his childhood, Chuck Sedgwick, my husband, was left without a healthy model of what it means to be a man. Chuck shares the impact of this experience on his maturing process and how coming to know Christ as Savior opened up an avenue for healing and growth.

Author, teacher, and Christian life coach Tina Slaughter wanted freedom from a lifestyle of perfectionism and performance. She wanted intimacy with God. Through slow steps of choosing to spend time with God, that closeness grew. After a wilderness season, the nearness reached a new level, and she has learned to spend hours each early morning with God. In so doing, she found the purpose for her life, which she now shares with others.

Performance and perfectionism was a way of life for author, teacher, and Christian life coach Tina Slaughter. It was drilled into her as a child, and she needed it to gain the approval and belonging she sought. As a high achiever, she believed that perfection was attainable. Until life taught her that performance wouldn’t meet the needs of her heart. She needed God Himself to minister to her heart.

During the slow recovery process from living with an abusive husband who was a pastor, Terrie focused on survival. Yet God moved to restore her soul and reveal His true heart for her. Scripture, which was once distorted by her pastor husband, became life-giving to her. She learned that God cherished her and met her every need. Now she teaches others what God taught her, and it is changing lives.

When Terrie Tollerson married a pastor who abused her, she didn’t know where to turn. Who could help her? She believed the distortions of what she had learned about what it meant to be a supportive Christian wife. She carried deep shame, blaming herself for what her husband did. She thought she was responsible for his addictive and abusive behaviors. After all, he blamed her, too. She escaped with her children, and trusted God to begin a new life.

The journey of healing from shame happens day by day, step by step. God doesn’t ask us to heal ourselves. Since shame is a result of sin, healing from shame requires a healing that is supernatural. It is a work of God in us. The Holy Spirit uses a number of tools to accomplish that healing. Gratitude, worship, the body of Christ, God’s Word, and His grace bring transformation to our daily lives.

Growing up, Jason Ellis, LMFT, waited by the curb for his dad who never came. A step-dad also disappointed him. Who could he trust? Would any father find value in him? Healing began when he came to know that God adopted him as His own, by His grace, and because of love.

Growing up, Jason Ellis, LMFT, waited by the curb for his dad who never came. A step-dad also disappointed him. Who could he trust? Would any father find value in him? Healing began when he came to know that God adopted him as His own, by His grace, and because of love.

After a turbulent childhood, author and New Zealander, Carolyn Deck, learned to know and trust God. She walked through forgiveness, she made healthy choices, and in so doing, she rose above the turbulence by God’s grace.  As she did, she found her purpose.

When parents are self-focused because of their own brokenness, the children’s needs go unmet. An alcoholic mother and absent father left author Carolyn Deck, a New Zealander, to survive on her own. She took care of her mother instead of her mother nurturing her. When she went away to America as a foreign exchange student, she witnessed a healthy family, and had hope. And God called her in His still small voice, letting her know He would meet her needs.

Cathy Taylor, founder of the ministry, Hurting Moms, Mending Hearts, talks about the process of healing for a hurting mom. She shares about the peace she found through believing God and surrendering to His plans and purposes for her daughter.  She also speaks about the importance of being in a safe community of gracious friends who can offer support and encouragement in Christ.

Cathy Taylor, founder of the ministry, Hurting Moms, Mending Hearts, shares her story of how her daughter’s struggle with addiction and other harmful behaviors turned her world upside down and brought her to Jesus. As a hurting mom herself, she wanted to connect with other women who shared her experience. Thus, the ministry was born, and healing began.

A person who has been rejected or abandoned needs to experience relational attachment in order to heal. Healthy friends and loved ones can aid in that journey. But it is God, as the Ideal Parent, who meets the deepest needs of our hearts and can mend what sin has broken. Robin Taylor returns to share the rest of her story, and how God met her with His tender loving care.

Rejected by her father and merely tolerated by her mother, Robin Taylor, LCSW, longed for attention and love. When anyone simply paid attention to her, she had no discernment about their character, and she gave herself away. Violence, cruelty, and unkindness followed, with no healing for her soul. Only when she came to know Jesus did she begin to understand her worth.

When her happily ever after dream didn’t happen, Casandra Morgan chose dependency on Jesus as a way of life. Step by step, she matured and gained self-respect and a better life for her and her son. After feeling figuratively loved to death by the man who relationally abandoned her, God loved her back to life.

Cassandra Morgan, a self-professed military brat, found what she thought would be life-long friends in high school, including a young man who captured her heart. The military separated them when his family moved across the world. When they reconnected as young adults, she once again fell for him, becoming pregnant. Her fairy tale ended, and a dark time followed. Only God could rescue her by His grace.

God’s relational provision is a miraculous gift. Though his biological father abandoned Matthew Summit as a preschooler, God never did. He knew Matthew’s need, and brought men into his life who committed to him, demonstrating his value and worthiness. In time, Matthew became a youth pastor, committing to students in the same way men stood by him.